I really wanted to start writing in this blog when good things were happening in my life but sadly over the last two weeks I have been in such a funk even the things that use to bring me so much joy have done nothing to lift the mood. Normally I could find happiness in little things like watching a Twitch stream and getting lost in good conversation with certain gaming communities but lately I have just not felt anything but anxiety. No joy at the little things I use to love. I turned my computer on and instantly turned it off because I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything.
Even the D&D games that I love meant nothing to me. I felt myself just not being able to get into character. I know this is the nerdiest shit in the world and I should be able to gauge my mood off of things like this but it is true. I sit here and things have been going pretty well in my life but I can’t help but feel miserable because I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
In my life it always seems that like just when things are starting to look up everything crashes down around me and my life turns to shit again. It has been the story of my life so I find it hard to believe that it will happen again. I don’t know why I am bothering with this blog right now. My heart isn’t in it.